


we come in line

by starsinoureyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fertility Clinic, Lactation Kink, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Pregnancy sickness, Real Estate Agent Louis, Teacher Harry, but he doesnt teach really, it gets scary for a bit but all is well i promise, lots of pregnancy talk, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 22:25:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16273613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsinoureyes/pseuds/starsinoureyes
Summary: Harry decides to have a baby on his own, Louis doesn't agree it's a good idea but lets him do it anyway. It took seven years and Harry getting artificially inseminated for them to find each other. Louis has a secret he didn't tell Harry and it might affect their family.Also featuring: a pre-pregnancy party, fertility clinics and pregnancy scares.-based on the movie The Switch (2010)





	we come in line

**Author's Note:**

> This was in the works for a while now, and something I wanted to write every since I fell in the rabbit hole that is mpreg in this fandom. So many talented people! I wanted to add my own little twist to it, hope you enjoy.  
> I have never been pregnant and all my knowledge comes from the internet and movies, so if there are any glaring inaccuracies please let me live. This is supposed to be fun. 
> 
>  
> 
> The title is from the song Vienna by Plasi.

 

 

Louis was late again.

It wasn't his fault, to be perfectly honest. The traffic was mad at this time of day and Harry knew that when he called him to meet at the restaurant.

He had some big news to share with Louis and apparently it couldn't wait for a more reasonable time. Harry will have to suck it up.

He rushed into the restaurant and the _maître d'_ eyes widened at his appearance. His quiff was slightly droopy and he might've stepped into a puddle on his way in, but he didn't care. He spotted Harry sitting impatiently and glancing towards the door. His smile overtook his face and he waved to get Louis’ attention.

Louis nodded towards Harry and the woman outstretched her hand towards the dining area, welcoming him to the restaurant. Louis took off his coat and walked briskly towards Harry.

“I’m so excited to see you, I’m not even going to be mad you kept me waiting for half an hour.” Harry said, flashing even more of his teeth. Louis quirked his eyebrow and sat opposite him.

“Well, I’m here.” He said, outstretching his arms to the side and smirked. “What’s the emergency? Can we order or do you wanna share the news first? I’m kinda hungry.”  
“No, we can order. I’ll tell you after.”

Louis nodded and waved towards one of the waiters. They placed their orders and Louis leaned on his elbows on the table surface, looking intently at Harry.

“Now… tell me what’s going on. You sounded weird over the phone. Is it serious?” Louis imagined a thousand different scenarios for what might be the reason Harry wanted them to meet. Each was more worrisome than the last one. He hoped it was happy news at least.

Harry nodded. He was smiling so it couldn’t be too terrible. He leaned over the table and took Louis’ hands in his.

“Lou,” he said reverently, his eyes shining like emeralds, “I’m going to be a dad.”

The world stopped moving. The people around him were muted and they froze in place, leaving Louis’ heart the only thing that was beating too loudly in his head.

It wasn’t what actually happened. Louis was too shocked by Harry’s words to notice anyone but Harry’s face and the faint stubble he was sporting, along with the excited round eyes which were his favourite in the world.

“You- what?” Louis mumbled, his jaw still trying to attach itself back to his face when it fell down. He pulled away from Harry’s touch.

Harry didn’t have a boyfriend. He hadn’t been dating anyone for at least few years, ever since he got that permanent teaching position in school. Maybe one of his hook-ups went wrong. But Harry hasn’t pulled anyone in months when they went out – always happy to dance and drink with their group of friends and pushing away all the creepy men trying to get his attention.

What? How?

“How?” he muttered. His eyes were stinging, he didn’t blink for few minutes.

Harry’s smile widened and he reached out to grab Louis’ hands again which were lying on the table top.

“I have an appointment at a fertility clinic.” He said, his voice too loud and cheerful for the restaurant. It boomed in Louis’ head.

“Fertility clinic? But you’re not- you don’t have a boyfriend, Harry.” Louis’ mouth spewed before it caught up with his brain.

“I know that.” Harry’s smile faltered for a bit, but he looked happy still. “I don’t need one to have a baby.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works. You usually need material from two people to make a baby.”

“ _Material_.” Harry scoffed. “That sounds too clinical.”

“Which is what you’re suggesting. You know what I mean.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Juices and eggs.”

Harry giggled. “That doesn’t sound any better.”

Louis sighed. “Harry… Why are you going to a fertility clinic?”

“Because I want a baby.”

“You’re only 29, you have plenty of time.”

Harry frowned. “My body is in its prime now. The older I am, the risks of miscarriage increase. That’s what my doctor said.”

“That’s bullshit. People have children even in their fifties.”

“It’s riskier with men.” Harry insisted, his forehead forming a line. “We have less padding on our bodies and our hearts are not as strong when we get older, and… I’m ready.”

“I know you are. You’ve been ready since you were eighteen.” Louis said with a soft smile. He squeezed Harry’s hand. “Does it have to be now? And like this? What if you meet someone?”

Harry pulled away from Louis and crossed his arms on his chest. “Why aren’t you happy for me?”

“I am. I’m so happy you want to have a baby. But I also know you might not have thought this through. You just got a steady job and you’re single. It might be harder than you think.”

“Your mom was single with four kids.”

“You can’t compare her to anyone. She’s a wonder woman.”

“ _And_ she got married and had two more babies.”

Louis sighed. Harry bringing up Louis’ mum as an argument never went in his favour. “ _And_ I know how many times she said how hard it was for her. She had help, from grandmum and granddad, but she was on her own most of the time. Do you think you could do that?”

“Yes.” Harry’s earnestness completely crumbled any will Louis’ had to change his mind.

“Okay. If that’s what you really want, then I’ll be right by your side. I’ll help you in any way I can.”

Harry’s eyes were wet and his smile was blinding. “Thank you, Lou.”

“No problem, love.” Louis said and felt his smile stiffen.

=

The doors closed with a loud thump. Louis took off his shoes in the hallway, under the hooks for all of his coats and he passed by the silver mirror to get to his living room.

There was mail on his coffee table that he picked up yesterday but never got around to sorting it. Few books were stacked on the side of it and waiting to be placed back on their respective places on the bookshelf.

His apartment wasn’t lavish, just big enough for him and few other people for times when his family visited. He always loved the industrial design it came with and the large window opposite his sectional sofa gave him a clear view into the world, made it feel more open.

He took off his large coat and laid it on the backrest of the sectional. As soon as his arse took its place on the sofa, he gave out a large sigh. He looked around himself, at the TV, the bookshelf, the street outside of the window.

It was too quiet on the outside. It was his thoughts that were too loud.

He still couldn’t believe Harry would actually go through that. That he was going to get a baby all by himself.

Louis was happy for him, of course he was. But the practical side of his brain, the one that had been trained by his mum and business school had a long list of things that said why that was a terrible, terrible decision.

He couldn’t help but imagine an overworked Harry trying to take care of a faceless child and struggling to find a babysitter or a good kindergarten on his teacher salary.

Another version of Harry popped up where the child had special needs and Harry couldn’t give him proper meds or equipment (because artificial inseminations have a higher chance of the child have some form of defect – or so he read few years back).

The last one was of Harry having to put up with invasive questions and misunderstanding of his co-workers and strangers. His child coming home crying because they tease him he’s a ‘bottle baby’ and a science experiment.

He imagined Harry doing all of that, enduring all of that and his throat choked. He was certain things will go well for him, because when has Harry had anything but good luck in anything he wanted? But he also knew that he’ll need all the support Louis will give.

Louis will have to be there for him through this time. In case any of his imagined scenarios turn out to be true.

He picked up his laptop from his backpack and set it on his lap. He turned on the TV for some background noise and clicked on Amazon’s home page.

He needed to get some things first.

=

_Your family can start here!_

The inspirational poster was screaming at Louis.

It was a picture of a heterosexual couple holding a baby and the text was splashed in an annoyingly overused slanted font in the middle. At the bottom was the fertility clinic’s logo.

The other walls of the small waiting room were decorated similarly and Louis felt incredibly small and claustrophobic. The stock photos were creeping him out and the quotes were grating on his nerves. He wanted everything to be done and over.

But he was still waiting for Harry to do his check-ups before a final decision for the insemination was made. Louis wasn’t allowed with him because he wasn’t family nor a partner. _Stupid clinic policy_.

Louis was Harry’s best friend for the past seven years and he had more rights than anyone to be there and hold his hand while they poked and prodded at him.

Has it _only_ been seven years?

Sometimes he felt like he knew Harry all his life. Like there wasn’t a moment in which they weren’t there for one another, through heartbreaks, ups and downs.

Louis moved away from the poster and sat down on the plump sofas, the receptionist eyeing him discreetly. Or not, since he did notice her looking at him in the first place.

She was fairly attractive young woman, with her brown hair pulled into a bun and her green costume made her eyes pop. Too bad Louis wasn’t interested.

He kept checking his phone, scrolling through his Twitter and Instagram feed mindlessly until the first door opened and he heard a familiar voice.

“Thank you so much.” Harry said on his way out to the person in the room. He had a wide smile on his face, although his clothes were a bit wrinkled and hair dishevelled – a tell-tale signs of him hastily putting on his clothes. “I’ll see you in a week. Have a nice day.” He waved and turned to Louis.

Louis smiled widely, seeing him so upbeat and happy. He walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Alright, Harold?”

Harry nodded, briefly looking down at his feet. “Alright. Thanks for waiting, Lou. I know you wanted to be in there with me-“

“Hey, it’s alright, I didn’t mind. It wasn’t that long anyway. Are you hungry? Maybe we can get some chicken on our way home and see what’s on Netflix? Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing.” Harry said, his eyes grateful.

Louis nodded happily. “Good. Then you’ll tell me what these awful people did to you.”

Harry chuckled. “Sure.”

=

“What did they say? What did they do to you?” Louis bombarded Harry with questions when they sat down in Harry’s living room to eat.

Harry tucked a smile as he picked on his chicken with a fork. He was thrumming with excitement, Louis could tell. Usually he had no problem devouring his meals but he was barely touching it now.

“They took some blood and checked my blood pressure. The usual. I told them my family medical history and they weighted me. It felt like any other doctor check-up.”

“When are you gonna get… y’know?” Louis gestured with his fork, not looking Harry in the eye.

Harry grinned slyly. “What’s wrong, Lou? You can say it. Why are you being shy?”

“I’m not.” Louis grunted.

“It’s called semen donor. Come on, say it with me.” Harry was teasing him with a glint in his eye and Louis would not be teased. He was a grown man.

“Semen donor.” Louis said with an eye roll.

“Can’t hear you.”

“Semen donor.” He said louder and Harry giggled.

Louis tucked into his meal and ignored Harry.

“I still haven’t picked one.” Harry said after a while. He sighed and put down his chicken on the coffee table. He curled into himself and Louis put his own plate down. He moved closer to Harry and put an arm on the backrest behind Harry’s neck.

“Why? Are they all rubbish or?”

Harry shook his head.

“What’s the matter then?”

“It’s- it’s a big decision. Like… my baby is going to be mine but also, he or she is going to be a half of the other person. A stranger. And I know they take a lot of caution into who they take donations from but… What if I pick a wrong one? What if my baby hates me?”

“Hey, hey.” Louis moved even closer, he was practically in Harry’s lap. He put his hands on Harry’s cheeks and pulled him to look him in the eye. “Your baby is not going to hate you. I see what you’re doing. And I’m going to tell you right now that you have nothing to worry about. Whoever you choose as a donor is only going to be that. Someone who will help you make a baby but you… You’re going to get to see that baby grow and care for it and make it grow into a wonderful and kind human being you yourself are. Even if it has an over-bite or one ear or large feet, it’s going to be so loved.”

Harry was tearing up and when he blinked few tears seeped into Louis’ palms. “I can’t wait to have that baby.”

Louis smiled and pressed a soft kiss on Harry’s forehead. “I know. It’s going to be amazing, Haz.”

“But I do have someone picked out.”

“Hey, there you go. Who is it?”

“They can’t disclose names or address. Only when my kid is like sixteen or eighteen they’ll be able to get that information, but I got some basics. Hair colour, eye colour, height, weight and medical history.”

 

“Do you have the file here? Can I look at it?”

“Sure.” Harry stood up to run to his room. Louis finished his chicken and put the empty plate back on the table, making a mental note to help Harry clean up later.

Harry came rushing back with a thin folder. It had Hello Kitty print on it. Louis said nothing but smiled as he opened it.

The paper was a standard medical documentation but where the name should’ve been was a series of numbers and letters. The same was done for address. He looked at each filled in spot.

_Hair colour: Light brown. Eye Colour: Blue. Height: 5’9”. Nationality: British. Ethnicity: White. Marital Status: Single._

“Oh, we have the same eye colour. And they’re as tall as me.”

Harry snorted. “Yeah, _tall_.”

Louis glared playfully at Harry. “We can’t all be freakishly tall like you, Harold. I’m average size, you’re just a giant.”

“That’s why I picked him. I don’t want my child to be ginormous when he or she goes through puberty. Expensive to shop for clothes.”

Louis laughed and looked down the paper. The next page was full of information on the bloke’s medical and family history. Medical history was clean, regular testing on HIV and Hepatitis. Few heart diseases and diabetes in family history, but nothing to be worried about. The man looked like any normal healthy bloke. No red flags or anything.

At the bottom was a result for the sperm count. There were some terms in Latin Louis didn’t understand but next to it was an explanation with an Average – Above Average stamp.

“Hmm. This chap’s got some good swimmers.” Louis commented with a cheeky grin.

“I hear that’s important in a man.” Harry retorted and leaned over Louis’ shoulder to see for himself.

“Next time on a date, I’m gonna be like, so what do you do for a living? A lawyer, good. You like action movies, huh? That’s all good but what’s your sperm count? We can’t take this to a new level if you’re not at least Above Average.”

Harry slapped him, laughing obnoxiously. “I like him. I’ve always wanted a blue-eyed baby. Do you think they’ll get them? They’re pretty rare.”

“I’m sure they will, love. They say that parents who both have a rare eye colour will have higher chance of the baby to have a rare eye colour too.”

“Who said that?”

Louis shrugged. “I don’t know. I read it somewhere.”

Harry hummed in thought, looking at the donor’s papers. “I really want it to have blue eyes. Pretty, like yours.”

Louis choked on his saliva and reached for the tea he left to cool on coffee table. He chugged down to calm himself, because Harry didn’t just say that. Imagining the two of them having a baby was… it went into a dangerous territory Louis didn’t dare thread. His heart would not survive.

“Maybe you should’ve asked _me_ to give a donation.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows, hiding half of his face (and blush) behind the mug.

“I would never do that.” Harry made a face and Louis’ heart sank. “It’d be weird. Like, we’re friends and… you can’t do that without emotions getting in the way.”

“Yeah.” Louis mumbled. “It might get messy when you know the person. Maybe they’ll make it difficult to raise the baby how you want. Want to get more involved with the baby.” 

“I was considering it at first, but then the doctor told me that I’m more protected if I do it this way.” Harry said, excited to tell Louis more. Louis leaned back to listen. “Because I can have full custody of the baby and I don’t have to worry about someone taking me to court and demanding more rights. The donors are automatically declined any rights if their donation is used to make a child.”

Louis nodded. “That’s good. Liam told me about it years ago though, when we were in university. He had a course on insemination or gene editing or whatever it was. He couldn’t shut up about sperm banks in UK having so few donors and having to import Scandinavian sperm.”

Liam also made him agree to make a donation himself when he was drunk on tequila after passing one of his most difficult exams. Part of him was curious about it but another was worried about fathering a stranger’s child and being hounded down by a stranger years down the road, but Liam promised him full anonymity.

He wondered whatever happened to his donation. Was it never used? He’ll have to check that later with Liam.

“Hmm, maybe I should’ve picked an international donor then. Blue eyes, blond hair, hardworking and creative. A dream.”

“You sound like Hitler.” Louis quipped. Harry slapped him again, and they dissolved into giggles.

 

A week later, Louis received an invitation in his mail box. It stood out among the beige and off-white envelopes he pulled out. It was colourful and had several exclamations on the flap of the envelope and his name and address were written in an ornate calligraphy. He wondered who would take so much care into something that would be thrown out anyway.

He put his bag in the living room and put it to the side so he could make himself some tea. He had a nightmare of a client today and he needed some unwinding. Louis was a miracle worker usually but this woman’s list of wants was impossible to fulfil and she didn’t like the word ‘compromise’.

When the tea was nice and warm and his mug was filled the way he liked he went to his living room and exhaled deeply when he sat on his comfy sofa. He turned TV on for background noise and reached for his mail.

He pushed others away and opened the colourful one first. He was too curious and impatient. What greeted him inside was more intricate calligraphy and several drawings of party balloons and smiley faces. He skimmed over the text and stopped to read it more carefully when he realised what it was.

_You’re invited to celebrate my imminent pregnancy!_

_Join me in this exciting time and celebrate the new life I’ll be blessed with!_

Underneath the text was specified time and place of the event. And Harry’s signature.

Louis rubbed a hand on his temples. He had to read it several times for it to settle fully. He put the invitation down and reached for his phone. It rang two times before Harry picked up.

“A pre-pregnancy party, Harold? Really?”

“Hello to you too, Louis.” He could hear Harry’s grin from the other line.

“Isn’t it a bit premature to throw a party when you’re not even pregnant?”

“I’m making a party day before I go into the clinic. I wanted to celebrate with my friends.”

“You don’t know if it will work right away. It usually doesn’t. I don’t want you to get disappointed.”

“I know. I know. I’m not even expecting it to work right away, I just want everyone I know and love in my life to take on this journey together. I want everyone to know how my life is going to change and to share this with them.”

“Who’s going to be there then?”

“You, of course. My parents. Gemma is driving down from Sheffield, she took a day off. Few friends from uni who I still talk to. Niall and Liam. Few people from work. Not a lot. A small house party.”

Louis hummed. “Alright. That’s good. Nobody will get too rowdy then.”

“ _You_ can get rowdy. I’ll have drinks and food for everyone. I just can’t have anything before the procedure.”

“Are you doing the party to loosen up your nerves, love?”

“Maybe.” Harry whispered into the phone.

“That’s alright. But you don’t have to be scared of anything, Haz. It’ll go smashing. You’ll see.”

“I know. It’s gonna be good. I just want to make something nice for everyone and myself.”

“Okay.”

“So, are you coming?”

“Of course. Someone has to hold my hand too. It’ll take time to get used to calling you Daddy.”

“Please don’t call me that.” Harry whined. “It sounds weird after all the porn I’ve watched in uni.”

Louis laughed and then put a hand over his mouth. “Now you know I’ll call you that all the time.”

Harry sighed.

“I hate you.”

=

The party was in full swing when Louis arrived. People were mingling about, the music was playing and Louis noticed Harry carefully arranged the refreshments table with candles, flowers and balloons. There were American pies, canapes and salads next to hot dogs and various finger foods. Harry’s new cooking obsession.

“Louis!” an overly cheerful voice greeted him. Louis knew who it was and he also knew how drunk they already were.

“Niall! When did you get here?”

“Hours ago, mate! Why’d you get here just now?” Niall looked at him with a glassy expression. Both of his hands were on Louis’ shoulders. “Harry’s gonna get pregnant! Did you hear that? First of the squad!”

“Don’t ever say the word squad again, Nialler.” Louis made a face and Niall laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. “Yes, I’ve heard. Wonderful news, right?”

Niall shook his head. “It ain’t right, mate. It should’ve been your baby. You’re like – so good together.” Niall’s voice got slurred the more he talked. And he was bad at keeping secrets. “Soulmates.”  
“We’re also friends, Niall. Did you forget that?”

“But you’re in love with him.” Niall said as if it was so simple. His eyes were round and innocent. And Louis hoped he didn’t tell anything to Harry.

“It’s complicated, Niall.” Louis sighed, and moved several steps to the side where it was quieter and Niall moved with him. “I do love Harry, but it’s not like that between us. Let me get you some water.”

Niall pushed away from him and rushed surprisingly steady to other side of the room. “Harry! Louis’ here! He wants me to drink water!”

Louis finally took off his jacket and put it on the hook in the hallway with the others before he saw Harry coming with Niall in tow with a colourful drink in his hand.

“Harold, I hope that’s not what I think it is.” Louis chided and Harry grinned.

“I mixed some freshly squeezed juice to make it look like a cocktail. I can’t drink anymore-“

“So I took over that duty.” Niall quipped with a wide smile, patting his chest proudly.  

“Yes. So brave.” Harry said and looked fondly at Niall. “I hope you didn’t think to give yourself a liver cirosis while I’m pregnant.”

“Don’t worry. I’m Irish. I can handle my drink.”

“Sure, Niall.” Louis agreed and then exchanged looks with Harry. Niall was going to fall asleep in some uncomfortable position in the next half-hour. It always ended up like that, even in their uni days. While then they were used to losing Niall in parks and other people’s bathroom, nowadays he more or less found a bed. Sometimes a floor.

“Louis, help yourself with drink and food. I think I have some more beer if you want. I have to talk to some other guests.” Harry said and sipped on his juice while walking away.

“Yeah, sure. Go on and mingle.” Louis winked at him, trying to appear playful but he felt a stab of hurt to be left alone so fast upon his arrival. Usually Harry didn’t leave his side for hours when they were at a party. He wondered how much the baby will keep Harry out of Louis’ life. If they will be able to hang out anymore after it comes.

Louis cursed at himself. He was supposed to be supportive, not jealous of an unborn baby. It was a blessing, not a hardship that will keep Harry away from him.

He saw Liam talking to someone Louis didn’t know. She looked like someone Harry knew from work. He waved to Liam and Liam waved back, before making excuses to the person and walking over to him.

“Louis, how are you?”

“Good. Great.” Louis said, taking a sip of his beer. “Where’ve you been? Feel like we haven’t talked in ages.”

“I’ve been taking more hours at the hospital. One of the older nurses is going to retire and there’s a big promotion coming up so… I need to step up my game.” Liam said, crossing his fingers with hopeful smile.

“Gotta impress the bosses.” Louis wiggled his brows.

“You know how it is.”

“Hmm. Sure do.”

Liam looked briefly over Louis’ shoulder and sipped on his beer. “Harry’s gonna be the first to settle down, huh?”

“Yeah, bit mental, innit? Having a baby and all.”

“I, for one, am proud of him. Sets an example, y’know. Going for what you want and doing things when you’re ready.”

Louis hummed in agreement and took long gulps of his beer.

“And it’s good that he’s using a fertility clinic and promoting sperm donors. Remember when I raved about in uni on how small supply we have of British donors and overall donors in the UK to fight infertility?”

“Real icon, our Harold.” Louis muttered under his breath.

“What’s that, Louis?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s gonna be good to be uncles to the little one, right?” Louis’ voice choked at the word uncles but he cleared his throat and avoided Liam’s eyes. Liam didn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah. Exciting times.” Louis added.

“Which clinic did he say he went to?”

“Uhm… Harley Fertility Center.”

“That sounds familiar. I think I’ve heard of them before.”

Louis chugged down his beer and left Liam to get some more. It was getting too real for him to brave this sober. His hand brushed against a bottle of whiskey and he filled a glass before deciding to take the entire bottle with him.

Alcohol always made things clear for him.

=

Louis didn’t see Harry for the next two weeks. Christmas holidays were coming up so every one in their group of friends had some family obligations. Louis travelled to Doncaster to see his family and didn’t come back to London until January.

They did keep in touch by texting and Louis checked Harry’s Instagram regularly but aside from some mundane everyday stuff, Harry didn’t say anything about his insemination or possible pregnancy.

Can you even get pregnant that quick?

Louis took that as a sign he was still debating on whether to get pregnant for real and until he got a confirmation of it, Harry was still Harry. His loveable goofy self with no baby to take care of.

He couldn’t be sure, since Harry didn’t ask him to come with him to the clinic next time. There was a hope he might’ve changed his mind last minute.

It was late afternoon on his day off work and Louis was vegging out in front of his TV, eating cereal. The Fab 5 were announcing their next candidate when Louis’ intercom buzzed.

He jumped off his sofa and went to the front room to press the button to open the front door. It was probably a neighbour or someone delivering food, he didn’t bother checking – he wanted to get back to his show.

When he picked up his cereal again, there was a knock on his door. Annoyed beyond measure, he paused the TV and stomped back to the front door.

“This better be important.” He muttered under his breath and opened the door.

Harry’s smiling face greeted him.

“Louis.” He was breathless, like he was running to get to Louis’.

“Hey, are you alright?”

Harry’s smile widened and his dimples were craters in his face. “Yes. I’m- I’m wonderful.”

Louis stared at him. “Come in, come in.” He gestured towards the inside of the small hallway and moved aside. Harry stepped in and strolled to Louis’ living room. He took off his jacket and put it over a spare chair.

Louis watched him with puzzled eyes. “Hazza, you sure you’re alright?”

Harry turned to look at him from his spot on the sofa. “Yeah. Why?”

“You left your jacket on the chair. Usually you tell me off for doing that, that it’s the first step toward messy flat and messy life.”

“Oh. I’ll put it in the front room.” Harry stood up to take it, but Louis stepped in front of him before he could.

“Relax, mate. You’re slightly out of your head.  Did something happen?” Louis asked, rubbing Harry’s arms up and down soothingly.

Harry leaned into Louis’ touch and his brilliant smile returned. “I got news, Louis. From the doctor at the clinic? Like twenty minutes ago, actually, and…”

“Is it good news?”

Harry nodded. “He said- he said ‘m pregnant.”

“Really?”

Harry nodded again. “Yeah.” He leaned closer to Louis and hugged him tightly. “I have a baby in me, Louis.”

“That- That’s wonderful, Haz.” Louis held Harry tighter and his voice was muffled in Harry’s shirt.

“I have a baby.” Harry’s voice was small and choked. Louis leaned back and looked at Harry who was crying with a big smile on his face. His face was puffy, his nose red and he was snotting everywhere but he looked so blissful and happiest Louis had ever seen him.

It took Louis’ breath away.

Few hours later, when Harry went home, Louis took his car keys and a wallet before he took out. He found the nearest and busiest club he could find in the area. He bee-lined to the bar and set a camp there.

He ordered beer after beer, sometimes mixing it with harder liquor or pretty cocktails somebody else ordered for him. Men sidled up next to him, looking at him appreciatively, almost licking their lips in approval, but he turned everybody down.

He wanted to get drunk, not get involved with anyone. He didn’t know why, but he was feeling so sad and in a slump, especially after Harry came to him with the news. He just wanted to numb that feeling; that lump in his gut.

Every time he imagined a small hand holding Harry’s he gestured to the bartender to refill his glass.

He eventually crawled back to his apartment, leaving his car and calling a taxi (by some miracle because he was so pissed) and lied on his bed in his clothes with a numb brain and a heavy feeling in his chest. He moved onto his side so he won’t puke and choke in the night, and fell asleep.

=

“Do you think it’s weird that men can’t breastfeed?”

Louis looked up from his laptop screen, too engrossed in answering his client’s e-mail, and blinked at Harry.

“What?”

Harry flipped a page on the book he was reading, lounging on Louis’ sofa next to him. “It’s weird, right? Some of us can have babies, just like women, but we can’t do the same stuff.”

“Like breastfeeding?” Louis asked, looking at Harry, his work completely forgotten.

“Yeah.” Harry mumbled and flipped more pages. “It must be pretty amazing, to have that connection with your baby. You spend nine months taking care of them inside your body and give them all they need, and then you have to buy some pre-packaged mass-produced stuff that’ll never be as good as your milk and… It seems unfair.”

Louis smiled. The past two months were spent largely like this. Harry would call Louis to come over and then they’d do their work side by side or Harry would read one of the dozens baby books Louis bought him and ask questions like these.

His pregnancy was going fine – morning sickness not as frequent and he didn’t have to change his diet too much due to aversion to some smells or cravings. The only thing he couldn’t see the sight of was cheese. But he was also clingier than usual and Louis was there to provide cuddles as much as he could.

Louis put his laptop on the coffee table and moved on the sofa next to Harry. He put one hand on the back of Harry’s neck and scratched. Harry melted in his touch but kept flipping his book.

“Is it something _you_ wish you could do?” he asked, his voice a whisper.

Harry nodded shyly. “It must be so powerful. When the baby is in you, you know you’re taking care of it and protecting it, but you’re not really aware? But when you’re holding the baby in your arms, looking at it and seeing it being fed and taken care of – you’re physically taking care of it – like, it must be such a nice feeling. I wish men could do that.”

He wasn’t showing yet, but Louis caught himself staring at his tummy.

“We can always buy one of those fake boobs and strap them to your chest.”

“Lou!” Harry whined, slapping Louis’ thigh. “Don’t make fun of it.”

“Hey, hey.” Louis assured him, when he saw how wet Harry’s eyes were becoming. “I’m not making fun of it. I think it’s great you want that and I’ll do anything for you to experience your pregnancy to the max. Even wear the damn thing myself if needed.”

“I always wondered how’d you look with boobs.” Harry sniggered.

“Amazing, right?” Louis grinned.

“You’d be the prettiest girl in London.” Harry agreed and looked over at Louis’ body. Louis felt his neck flush from the once-over. “But I think you look just as pretty as a man.”

“Pretty? I’m not pretty, Harold. I’m rugged and handsome.” He retaliated mockingly.

Harry’s eyes cleared and his smile widened. “The most handsomest. The most manly.”

“Thank you, mate.” Louis said and kissed Harry’s cheek, before standing up to resume his work. Harry picked up his book again with a sigh.

=

The prams were mocking him. The entire baby store was mocking him. Louis wasn’t delusional.

There were hundreds of them neatly placed next to each other and it didn’t stop at prams. There seemed like every type of baby stuff had thousand versions of it – from clothes to furniture to bottles.

How in the world did anyone expect Louis to make a choice?

“Louis?” He heard Harry’s voice calling from the other end of the aisle. Louis saw him leaning over a big shopping cart, only half filled with clothes, bottles and toys. His green eyes had a sparkle in them and he was glowing.

He was getting more beautiful with each day and with the steady progress of his pregnancy. There was a slight swell on his tummy at four months, only noticeable when he was wearing form-fitting T-shirts.

Louis was falling more in love with the baby, feeding off Harry’s excitement and care for it. If he resented their existence when he first found out about them, he was now more than on board to meet them. It extinguished the guilt he was feeling over his initial reaction.

“Did you find the furniture I told you about?” Harry asked, pushing the cart toward Louis.

“No. I- I got lost.” Louis’ voice was meek. He will not be intimidated by the choice. “Hey, don’t push the trolley, Haz. You’re pregnant.”

Harry huffed. “It’s not heavy. I’m not carrying anything.”

“Yeah, you are.” Louis gently took over the trolley and patted Harry’s slightly swelled tummy. “I don’t want you to take any chances. You need to be careful.”

“I am. Doctor said I’m perfectly healthy and could go on as usual. Just not lifting anymore at the gym.”

“Good. What else do we need?” Louis asked, snatching a list from Harry’s hand.

“I still need to measure the spare room and figure out what I’ll put in there, but I also want to see what they’ve got.”

“But your spare room is so tiny. A cot will barely fit in there.” Louis said.

“It’s not that small. Even if it is, I don’t have any other option. Except move back home.”

“What?” Louis’ heart stopped. “You want to leave?”

Harry shrugged. “I thought about it. It’d be better for the baby to live in the village than in a big city. And I’ll be close to my mum if I need a babysitter or help-

“I can babysit for you. Whenever you need.”

Harry smiled pitingly at Louis. “That’s thoughtful of you, Lou. But you have a job and a life of your own. You can’t be on my beck and call every time the baby sneezes.”

“I could help you find a bigger place. Being a real estate agent has its perks. I look at all the listings as they come up first. And you’ll get a discount. Family and friends discount.”

Harry chuckled. “Thanks, mate. But I’ll pass.”

“I don’t want you to leave, Haz.”

“It’ll only be for a little while. And London is not that far away from Cheshire.” Harry argued, but Louis knew it was a weak point. “You can still come visit, or I can come to you.”

“You said you were thinking about _moving_. This sounds like you made your mind.”

“I haven’t. I’m trying to consider my options. I have to think about what’s best for the baby.”

“And what’s best for the baby is for you to move back home and completely neglect your career.”

“I’m not- I’m a teacher, Louis. There are schools all over UK. I’ll be fine.”

“But what if they don’t need you in Cheshire? If you can’t find a good job to support the baby? What’ll you do then?” his voice was getting high pitched and whiny. He hated being like this.

“I’ll deal with it if it comes to that. Louis, come on. What’s really the matter?”

“Nothing. I just- You’re leaving me. I don’t like it.”

“There are still phones and Skype. We can still see each other.”

“But I’ll miss you.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere, Lou.”

“But you will.”

“I might. Not right now. I’m still here. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, let’s see if they have a cool baby swing I can buy for the nursery.”

=

Louis was finishing showing an apartment to a newly-wed couple when he received a text from Harry.

_Want to go for dinner after work?_

Louis quickly typed back. _Sure_

It’s been a while since he and Harry had done something together. Lately, all of their outings have been with the lads, going down to the pub or to a karaoke bar. Louis loved the lads, loved to be in a big social group and have a few pints with his friends- but there was something so special about hanging out with Harry – the comfort and ease in their bickerings and listening to Harry’s winded stories about the kids in his classes.

Of course he’d want to have dinner with Harry.

“If you have any questions about the property, you have my business card and all my information.” Louis put his phone away and said to the couple when they got back from looking at the spacious kitchen in the back of the house.

He locked up the house and said goodbye to his clients before driving back to his office to finish some stuff before a full day of showing properties tomorrow.

He felt giddy all the way home on his commute on the Tube, he was smiling to himself in the shower and when he was blowing his hair out. He giggled to himself when he picked his outfit and grinned when he checked his pockets for his wallet and phone on his way out.

He was just so… happy to see Harry. That was all.

He came few minutes early than usual, and Harry was already waiting for him.

The sunset light hit him so gently, his hair almost bronze in colour and skin rosy. The breeze billowed his long yellow tunic and the bump was more pronounced than usual. Harry put a hand over the flowing fabric and stretched it over his tummy, smiling to himself.

It was the start of the most amazing evening yet, before everything became more complicated.

Louis pulled him in for a long embrace. Harry didn’t say anything, simply burrowed his head in Louis’ shoulder.

When they parted, Louis put a hand on Harry’s lower back and guided him to the entrance of the restaurant. They were seated quickly and placed their orders too.

“How are you, H? How’s the baby treating you?” Louis asked, winking at Harry’s bump hidden behind the table.

Harry sighed then grinned. “The baby is fine. I’ve been craving more greasy stuff and gained like four extra pounds in a week. I can’t even pass by a chicken shop before he’s all ‘gimme some of that’.”

“Sounds like a reasonable baby. Knows what he wants.” Louis said with a smile. “You can’t force feed him your disgusting smoothies, Harold. The baby will come out green with kale for hands and feet.”

“When you get a baby of your own, you can feed it McDonalds and KFC if you want. I have to teach my baby how to eat properly.”

“And that starts before he’s even born?” Louis’ eyebrows raised amusedly.

“Yes.” Harry’s tone was firm but playful. “The earlier you start, the easier it gets. My mum told me that.”

“And my mum told me that you need to indulge your cravings and what the baby wants because then they will wear a birthmark in the shape of the food you denied it.”

“That’s not true.” Harry protested with a frown on his face. “Is it?”

“I’m just saying, maybe you need to get that child another KFC before he gets a chicken-shaped birthmark on his forehead.”

Harry giggled and pressed a hand on his tummy. “You won’t have that, will you?”

Louis wondered if the baby could hear them yet, if he was happy to hear his dad’s voice.

“Cosmetic surgery is cheap these days.” Louis quipped.

Harry looked at him with mock outrage. “He will not do such a thing. I’ll love him even with a giant burger-shaped birthmark on his face.”

“Him?” Louis’ ears tingled when he finally registered the pronoun Harry used for the baby. “Do you know the gender already?”

Harry shook his head with a pensive smile. “No. I told the doctor I want to be surprised but I think it’s going to be a boy. I kind of hope it will be. Um… is that weird?”

“No, no.” Louis reached for Harry’s hand over the table. “It’s normal to have expectations, lots of new parents have them. Even if it wasn’t a boy, you’d still love them, but it’s alright to have hunches.” Louis squeezed his hand gently. “You’re usually wrong about them, but who am I to judge?”

“Hey! I’m not always wrong.” Harry pulled away his hand and pouted at Louis.

“You always lose when we made bets. Remember when we tried to guess how long Niall’s beer ban will last?”

“I thought he’ll have more self-control. I was the only one who believed he’ll last a whole month.”

“I didn’t. I knew that Irish bastard will break at the first sight of a Guinness ad.”

“But,” Harry raised a finger in the air, pointing at Louis. “If I also remember correctly, you purposely drove past pubs every time we went out and left beer pamphlets and ads all over Niall’s apartment. You even set up a secret e-mail to send him beer newsletter.”

“I’ve never heard about that. But whoever did that was a genius and secured me a tenner from you.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows and smiled beatifically.

Harry exhaled loudly and hid his face behind his hands. “I needed this.”

“Needed what?” Louis asked, sipping on his water.

“This. Just you and me and… I’m so tired lately and sore.”

“Is it the baby or work?”

“Both.” Harry rubbed his eye and blinked at Louis. “I have to grade papers and make up exams before the hols, and the baby is making me so tired and my ankles are swelling. Not to mention how I’m hot all the time and can’t sleep.”

“Harry.” Louis said in a whisper. “It’s going to be alright. That’s just your body telling you how good you’re doing with the baby. This is just temporary.”

“I know. But… it’s hard doing it on my own. Sometimes I lie on the couch and think how nice it would be to share this with someone. The good and the bad.”

Louis didn’t say anything. It would be so easy to slip ‘I told you so’, but he wasn’t going to make Harry feel more miserable. He simply nodded and took Harry’s hands in his.

“And I know you said it right from the beginning, but I didn’t care. I still don’t care. I want this baby and I want to have a family. But…”

“You’re not alone, Haz. You have me and the lads. Your mum is just a phone call away. You’re not alone. It was shitty of me to tell you you can’t do this on your own, because… you’re so amazing.”

Harry smiled gratefully at him.

Their food arrived soon and the evening was continued in the same playful manner, all the serious stuff was left behind. They talked about their families, their plans for the Easter holidays and a bit about Harry’s baby.

When the dessert arrived, they shared it, each getting their own spoon. It was a big bowl of ice cream, fruit and cream. A pure indulgence.

Harry dived in, tongue first.

Louis laughed at the end result of him with a smear of cream on his upper lip and nose, and reached out to wipe it away. “Gotta give the baby what it wants.”

Harry’s eyes widened when Louis touched his skin and he froze. Louis pulled away slowly.

“Haz? What happened?”

“I-“ Harry leaned back and moved his hand over his tummy. Like he was searching for something.

“Haz?” Louis asked again, suspicious over Harry’s behaviour.

“No, it-“ Harry gasped and then his eyes welled up with tears. Louis stood up at the sight of that and rushed to Harry’s side, putting an arm on his shoulder and the other on his tummy.

“Louis-“

“It’s alright, Harry. We’re going. I’ll take care of it.”

“Louis, the baby kicked.” Harry said through his wide grin and teary eyes. Now Louis froze on the spot and looked at Harry.

Harry placed his hand over Louis’ and moved it slightly lower, where he felt the baby move. There was nothing, just the firm and warm feeling of Harry’s clothed skin. Louis crouched so he could be closer.

Something tiny pressed against his palm and Louis lost his breath. That… that was Harry’s baby.

“Oh. Wow.” Louis was in awe. “It’s like he’s saying hello.”

“He is.”

Louis looked up at Harry who was smiling widely, like his face would split in two, and tears welling up in his eyes.

“I’m so happy, Lou.”

“Me too.”

=

On his day off, Louis was determined to get on track with his TV shows. He was horribly behind _Game of Thrones_ and there were at least three more shows he wanted to watch that Niall and Liam recommended months ago.

And that was how his Saturday began.

With half-eaten bowl of cereal on his coffee table, mug of tea in hand and _Black Mirror_ on his TV, he was ready to be completely unproductive and nobody could stop him.

His phone buzzed several times (he always had the volume up during work week) and Louis merely glanced to see if it was someone or something important. He saw Liam’s icon and three notifications. He put the phone away and immersed himself in the show.

When it buzzed again, he sighed and went to see what new thing Liam discovered today to tell him about.

_Do you remember clinic where harry  got preggo?_

_Nevermind  found it_

_It bugged me for so long because it was familiar and I realised today why it was louuu you’ll neeever believe  the odds_

Then the last one, sent a minute ago:

_The sperm bank we went to like ten years ago in uni has the same name as harryys I checked it out to be sure haha what are the odds??_

Louis had to re-read the texts to get what Liam was getting at.

 _Weird mate_ he texted back.

_Yeah I kno_

_Arent you supposed to be in the hospital do whatever doctors do_

_I’m on break_

_Why are you searching that on your break ?? You think harry is pregnant with your baby_ _then_ Louis replied with a smirk on his face.

Liam always got too much into his head when something bugged him. When he dated he always tried to read non-existent clues in his date’s texts and worries himself into a stupor. That was probably why he went into this deep research.

Regardless, his findings were interesting. Weird and astronomically odd, but interesting.

 _Nooo the bank closed like five years ago. Their website is down_ Liam texted and sent a link.

Out of sheer curiosity, Louis opened it. A small picture of the sperm bank was on the website with tiny letters under it saying _Harley Sperm Bank_. A small message next to it said: _Thank you for all the wonderful years! To donors and past clients all the best in your future!_ At the bottom was a small watermark ©2015.

 _Do they destroy all the samples when they close ?_ Now Louis was worried that by some freak incident Harry’s baby _might_ be his or Liam’s. He was sweating slightly as he waited for Liam’s text. He was almost certain that they couldn’t keep the donations after they close their business, or give it to someone else.

_They have to. Dont worrrry lou._

Louis wasn’t too sure about it but Liam was the doctor and actually studied this stuff so it must be true. It was entirely incidental that his old sperm bank where he donated had the same name as Harry’s fertility clinic.

He checked once again if they were connected somehow, maybe a branch office or something. Google told him that the only connection was the name, they even had different managers and owners (the ones that were listed).

After that little freak-out, Louis could go back to his show and lazing about.

It _was_ his day off.

He noticed that he missed almost half the episode and couldn’t understand what was happening, so before he pressed rewind to when Liam rudely interrupted him he sent a gif to Liam flipping him off.

=

Louis got a phone call early in the morning, trying to wake up as he was replying to e-mails from over the weekend. Monday mornings sucked. Always, especially after a wonderful weekend.

Louis’ heart momentarily beat out of sync when he saw Harry’s face staring at him on his phone. He quickly picked up.

“Hello?”

“Lou?” Harry’s voice was shot, like he’d been crying for hours.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Louis was trembling slightly, but he had to pretend to be strong for Harry, if anything bad happened.

Harry sniffled. “It’s… I’m sorry I’m calling you this early…You’re probably at work and-“

“Don’t… it doesn’t matter.” Louis interrupted, keeping his voice steely. “What happened?”

“I went to the doctor to have my regular check-up, y’know… And he said that… something is wrong with like my organs. There’s not enough amniotic fluid for baby to breathe in so…”

“How bad is it? Will the baby be okay?”

“He thinks it will be okay, but I have to take extra precaution. The fluid levels are just below average, but this condition is more common with men than women because… nature and stuff…” Harry inhaled raggedly and Louis could tell he was biting his lip nervously as he always does. “The doctor said that it could potentially be really bad if the fluid level drops. The baby won’t develop its lungs properly or I might go into early labour. I was just sitting there and I wondered how am I gonna do this on my own?”

“Hey, Haz. It’s gonna be okay. Breathe with me. Blow your nose, whatever you need to calm down.” Louis said, his blood pressure spiking at each word. He never wanted Harry to go through something like this. Harry deserved a happy and healthy pregnancy where his only concern would be getting the matching baby furniture for the nursery or getting enough onesies.

“Where are you, love? Do you need me to pick you up?”

“I’m at the park. Near the clinic. I was scared to get on the Tube.”

“Okay.” Louis started moving his things into his bag and getting out of his office as he was talking to Harry. “I’ll come get you. Do you need me to pick up something on the way?”

“No.” Harry sniffed. “Louis, please be safe. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna listen to that after what you told me.” Louis said and told him he’ll see him soon before ending the call and pocketing his phone. 

When Louis found him in the park, Harry was still crying. His incoherent sobs died out and he breathed steadily but tears were still rolling down his cheeks. Louis hugged him carefully and played with his hair to calm him down.

“You’re stressing out, love. It’s not good for the baby.” Louis said and Harry started crying harder at that.

Louis decided that the best thing was to just put him into his car and drive him home.

Harry curled in the passenger seat and wiped his cheeks. “Can you drive me to yours?”

“Of course.”

“The doctor said that I should rest as often as I can. And that I should make other living arrangements for the rest of my pregnancy.” Harry stuttered and placed his arms over his bump protectively.

“Oh. Why’s that?” Louis asked, glancing at Harry when he pulled at red lights.

“Living on third floor with no lift and steady employment might not be good for the baby. Too strenuous. I have to take the paternity leave earlier.” Harry took a deep breath to calm himself. “My mum’s house has two floors but I think she’ll make a room for me downstairs. Unless she’s still travelling for a promotion at her job.” He hummed to himself and sniffed. “I have to talk to her.”

“You do that. When we come home.” Louis started driving again.

It didn’t take them long to arrive. Louis quickly parked his car and then helped Harry get out, opening his door and placing a hand on his back as they walked to Louis’ building.

They took the lift and Louis huddled close to Harry who was sniffling and wiping his nose absentmindedly. He leaned on his shoulder and whispered encouragements in his ear.

When they finally entered the flat, Harry bee-lined for the sectional sofa after he took off his coat, and put Louis’ fleecy blanket over his lap.

“I’ll make you some tea, alright love?” Louis said at the entrance to the living room, watching Harry’s sad figure getting comfortable on his sofa.

He went to the kitchen and took deep breaths to calm himself. He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes for a bit. Then he reached for the kettle and poured water, the familiar routine welcoming him and he stood straighter.

When the tea was done and he poured milk into Harry’s the way he liked, he carefully walked back to the living room. It was eerily quiet when he came in there. He assumed Harry fell asleep.

When he heard soft sniffling and blowing of nose he rounded the sofa and sat next to Harry. He placed Harry’s tea on the coffee table and stepped over Harry to lay behind him on the sofa.

“What are you doing, Louis?” Harry mumbled, his voice shot from crying.

“I’m cuddling with you. Deal with it.” Louis said, moving the blanket so Harry didn’t suffocate himself. He wrapped an arm around Harry’s middle and burrowed his face in Harry’s face. He was engulfing Harry and his pregnant belly and it made him feel a bit giddy.

“Thank you, Louis.” Harry’s sniffled and put his hand on Louis’.

“And tomorrow you’ll call your mum and explain to her what happened. I’ll help you pack and drive you there myself.” Louis said, his voice muffled by Harry’s hair. Harry’s hold on his hand tightened. “But for now, you and the baby are staying here.”

Harry’s answer was a sleepy mumble.

Louis’ soft chuckle rumbled in his throat. He patted away bits of hair that got in his mouth. His thumb accidentally moved over Harry’s ear and jaw. Louis stared at the soft pale skin and wished he could lean in innocently and kiss it.

“Sleep, love. I’ll take care of you.” He whispered.

=

Louis’ half-baked plan didn’t go out very well.  Because people had lives to live and not everything went exactly the way he wanted. To his and everybody’s dismay, really.

“Yeah, mum. I get it. I’m sorry too.” Harry said, engulfed in blankets on Louis’ sofa and a phone pressed to his ear. “I’ll call you soon when I talk to Louis.”

He hung up when Louis came through from the kitchen, carrying their lunch.

“What did she say?” he sat down, placing their plates and turning toward Harry.

He was frowning at his turned off phone. “I can’t go.” He put his phone away and leaned on the tower of pillows Louis set up for him.

“She said she can’t take me now because she’ll travel a lot in the next two months for work and she can’t reschedule anything. I’d be on my own.”

“But it’s still better than going three flights of stairs in your apartment. She lives in a one storey house, you’ll still be more comfortable there than in London.”

“She said that I stay with a friend while she works out her schedule. Someone who can take care of me and watch over me. Or at least be home every day if something happens.”

Louis hummed. “Yeah, that’s a concern too.”

Harry started fidgeting with his blanket and played with his bottom lip. “I- she said that…”

“What?”

“She asked if I can stay with you? For until the baby comes. “

“Oh.”

“You can think about it, Lou. I don’t- I would love to be here, you know I do, but I don’t want to burden you.”

Louis laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asked, a small grin on his face.

“I wanted to ask you to move in with me since I’ve found out about the baby having problems. But I wanted to let you decide what you want.”

Harry chuckled and put a hand over his face. “We need to work out on our communication skills.” Then he looked at Louis with something like fear in his eyes. “I won’t cause you any more stress or make you worry about me, I promise.”

“Oh, it’s a bit late for that, love.” Louis said, patting Harry’s leg over the blanket. “I’ve been worried about you since the day we met. We’re friends, right?”

“Best friends.” Harry quipped with a smile.

“I guess I still have to help you pack and get everything here.”

“Okay, don’t be long.”

“I won’t. Give me your keys.”

“They’re on your bed stand, in my coin bag.”

Louis gave him a look.

“It’s convenient, Louis. Shut up.”

=

Louis’ world has turned upside down ever since he moved Harry in his apartment. Granted, real estate salaries are much higher than primary school teacher’s but he didn’t know Harry had accumulated that much stuff in his tiny apartment.

And most of them were baby stuff. Harry had a small scrapbook and a baby book projects going on, filling them steadily with pictures and other knickknacks he wanted to keep to remember his pregnancy.

Louis wondered how it will look when the baby arrives; Harry’s house will be filled with dozens of photo albums and scrapbooks to capture every stage of his child’s life.

For now, Louis was in charge of taking pictures of Harry and his belly size. He also had to pick up Harry’s meds and vitamins, and take him to weekly doctor appointments. That was the extent of his duties since everything else could be ordered online and delivered.

But Louis knew Harry was worried about his baby and he wanted him to feel as relaxed as possible and not do anything strenuous.

When he thought before on how beautiful pregnancy looked on Harry and what a doting father he was to his unborn baby, he was mesmerised now.

It felt like a privilege to watch him talk to his belly, to catch him petting it absentmindedly while he was watching TV and how he glowed every time he felt the baby kick.

His mood improved by every weekly doctor visit which informed him he was doing okay and that baby was fine despite the condition.

“Do you have a name yet?” Louis asked him one night when they were relaxing before bed time. Louis bought him a large pregnancy pillow to help with the baby weight and his back problems. Harry hated it, but it helped despite being too hot at night.

Harry finally placed the pillow the way he wanted and the fan was hitting him from the right angle so he could be comfortable. His hair was up in a headscarf and he looked cuddly.

“A few. For a girl and a boy.”

“Good. What are they?”

“Michael or Charlie for a boy. I think Ezra is nice too, bit unusual, or maybe Lucas.”

“I think Louis has a nice ring to it. A bit too French, though.”

Harry chuckled. “I’m not naming my baby after you, even if you are a life saviour.”

“Little Louise, then?” Louis grinned widely.

Harry shook his head. “No.”

“Drat. What are the girls’ names?”

“I like Olivia the best, but my mom talks about Molly and Caroline. But I don’t know.”

“I like Olivia. I like Molly too.” He looked down and reached out to pet Harry’s belly over the cover. “I guess we’ll have to meet you to see what suits you best, little one.”

He looked at Harry who was already staring at him back, in that creepy thoughtful way he sometimes caught him do, but lately it crept up more and more. Especially when Louis did something to his baby or talked to it.

It never felt more intimate than this, their situation. Picking out baby names. Like it was their baby.

Like the universe wasn’t messed up and Harry wasn’t artificially inseminated and they got their shit together and were now ready to become a family.

It was complicated between them from the start. They were in relationships when they met and then slowly when those fizzled out, they were too secure in their friendship that Louis never properly acknowledged the extent of his feelings until Harry got pregnant. Harry wasn’t single up until five years ago, and he never expressed any real interest in anyone but occasional one night stands.

Louis wanted Harry in his life and being his friend was a lesser evil than try at a relationship and discover it won’t exactly match to what he had in his head.

And now here they were. He was taking care of him and his baby, he realised those initial feelings only grew stronger. Which is shit because it’s more complicated than ever.

Louis loves the baby, wants to protect it more than his own life but it’s not his (not that it matters) and Harry chose to do this on his own.

Saying anything would be stupid. And most certainly leave him heartbroken. Harry was opening a new chapter in his life and who was Louis to take his book and rip it apart?

“Um… we- we should go to bed. Early morning and all.” Louis said and quickly reached over his nightstand to turn off the light.

“Good night, Louis.” Harry mumbled from the other end of the bed. Even though he was centimetres away, to Louis it felt like he put a mile wide distance between them.

=

“Haz, I got your meds and special cream.” Louis announced when he came through the door. He put down the paper bag on the coffee table in the living room but when he got no answer he started to worry.

He went to the kitchen, seeing it empty save for an empty glass of green smoothie Harry made right before Louis went out of the flat.

“Haz?” Louis walked back to the bedroom to see if Harry might be sleeping. The days were getting hotter and hotter as summer passed by so Harry often went to sleep in Louis’ room where it was colder than the rest of the flat. (Not much because he still had a fan installed next to Harry’s side of the bed, but it made Harry feel better)

The bed was made and the white bedding mocked him with its pristiness. His worry grew into a mild panic and he called for Harry louder.

“In here.”

Louis followed the small voice coming from his _en suite_. He carefully opened the door and saw Harry sprawled on the floor with nothing on but his black pregnancy underwear.

Louis gasped and rushed to Harry’s side. “Haz, are you okay? Did you fall? Are you hurt?”

Harry blinked at him and waved a hand in dismissal. “I’m fine. I’m just… it’s so hot.”

“Oh.” Louis leaned back and an amused smile creeped on his face when he took in Harry’s starfish position on his bathroom floor. There were towels under his body and a water bottle next to him. He even propped up the fan from the bedroom on the bathtub to keep the small room cool. He looked so peaceful and serene.

“You fucking scared me, love.” Louis said, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. “Why didn’t you light some of your candles and got into the tub?”

Harry frowned. “I can’t stand the smell of them anymore. They’re too fragrant.”

“Even the mild ones I bought?” Louis asked, pressing a lower setting on the fan so Harry doesn’t get too cold.

“Even those.” Harry whined, “I didn’t want to get in the tub because I didn’t know when you’ll be back and I can’t get out by myself. I just needed a moment to cool down.” He sighed and rolled onto his side and waved his arm towards Louis to help him get up.

Louis took it and helped him get on his knees and then up. He turned off the fan in passing and kicked the towels to the side.

“Did you buy me that cocoa cream I told you about?” Harry asked as they walked back to the living room and Louis helped him sit down. The baby was still growing even at seven months and it hindered Harry’s movements. There was the added anxiety over Harry’s condition and the problems it posed as baby grows.

The doctor wasn’t too happy with the levels of the amniotic fluid and told Harry he might get an early Cesarean if it gets too risky in the next week or so.

It was a lot to deal with, and Louis wanted to relieve him of any added stress or discomfort.

He build the pillow tower behind Harry and Harry stretched out on the sofa, looking at the ceiling. Sweat was slowly building on his forehead so Louis ran back to his bathroom to get one of his smaller towels. He also grabbed the water bottle off the floor and rushed back to Harry who smiled at him, blissed out.

“Can you rub the lotion on me, Lou?” he asked when Louis sat next to him. “I can’t quite reach under my belly. I can’t see what I’m doing.”

“Sure.” Louis patted gently the towel on his forehead and then opened the paper bag. He opened the bottle of the cream and generously poured over his palm.

Harry noticed large and scary-looking stretch marks on his sides and on the lower side of his belly and he quickly googled how to get rid of them. Apparently, a lot of people swore by cocoa butter or cocoa cream to make them less visible and Harry wanted to try anything.

It was mostly his vanity that was showing off, and Louis teased him about it. But he also secretly watched him rub the cream onto himself when they were lounging in the living room before bed time. It was… it stirred something in Louis looking at Harry gently smearing and rubbing the lotion on his round belly.

He noticed the stirring was amplified when he helped him and getting a boner while sitting opposite Harry while he was feeling self-conscious and worried about his baby wasn’t something he wanted to happen. Or helpful to anyone. So, he often declined to do it, claiming it made his hands smell weird.

Harry’s eyes glinted when he agreed to do it now. “Good. You always do a better job than me.”

Louis huffed. “If you say so.”

Louis carefully smeared the rest of the cream, applying minimum pressure and feeling out Harry’s skin.

Harry’s eyes were closed in bliss and he occasionally hummed, unaware he was actually making any noise. Louis’ blood heated looking at him spread out in front of him like that. His legs opened to accommodate Louis, with his belly up and a satisfied smile on his face.

When Louis was mentally preparing himself to finish his task, he reached down the side of Harry’s belly and brushed against Harry’s dick. Which was erect and formed a sizeable bulge in his pants. Louis’ mouth dried up and he uselessly mumbled.

“Hmm?” Harry opened his eyes in alarm. “Why’d you stop?”

Louis’ eyes moved from Harry’s dick to his face. He was over-reacting… like… he’s seen Harry’s dick handful of times – on lad’s holidays and trips to Lake District – but this was so unexpected.

When Harry realised what had Louis fish-mouthing and gesticulating uselessly, he turned bright red and then to Louis’ further surprise – burst into tears.

“Haz?”

Harry covered his face in his palms and shook his head. He was crying quietly and sniffling. Louis moved to sit next to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s alright. You’re pregnant, it happens. Nothing to cry about.” He said in a low tone.

Harry shook his head once more and then revealed his puffy and tear-streaked face. He wiped off several falling tears and took big gulping breaths.

“This- this is so embarrassing.” He croaked, avoiding looking at Louis.

“It’s the baby’s fault. He’s been messing up with your body for months now.” Louis said with a chuckle, and Harry whined pitifully. “It’s okay, Haz. I won’t hold it against you. You got a boner, so what?”

Harry sighed, calming himself down a bit. “I hate this.”

“Hate what?”

“That this happened. I’m always so horny and so hot. And you’re always being helpful and sexy and I can’t do it anymore.”

“Hey, it’s-“ Harry’s words registered in Louis’ brain, “what?”

Harry shrugged. “Please don’t hate me, Lou. Ever since I got pregnant you’ve been… so supportive and good to us and I… I really hope it’s not the hormones messing up with my brain but… I’ve fallen in love with you. I mean, I always loved you, but seeing you how much you care about me and the baby… You’re amazing.”

“You love me?”

Harry nodded, finally looking up. He put a hand on his belly and his eyes sparkled from the wetness in them.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Sad tilt to Harry’s mouth upturned and his eyes grew. He turned slightly toward Louis, but was careful of his belly.

“You do?” now it was Harry’s turn to be surprised. “Since when?”

“Since…” his heart melted when Harry looked at him _that_ way. In that soft and reverent way Louis always thought meant admiration but now he clearly saw it as love. “Dammit, Harry. Why does it matter? Come ‘ere and kiss me.”

He leaned carefully forwards and pulled Harry’s face towards him. It was the most gentle and most loving kiss of Louis’ life. He pressed his lips against Harry’s and his whole body melted from the affection and longing.

Harry gently bit his bottom lip and Louis opened his mouth eagerly, ready to yield to anything Harry wanted from him. If Louis tried to be gentle with Harry, careful of the fragile state he was in, then Harry was trying to do the opposite. He pulled at Louis’ clothes, mussed up his hair and wanted to touch anything he could reach.

Louis pulled backwards and Harry momentarily chased after him, but leaned back as well, with a smug smile on his face.

“Gotta be careful, Haz.” He said, catching his breath.

“Because of the baby? Little kissing won’t hurt him.” Harry retaliated and reached back for Louis who situated himself to Harry’s side and kissed him again.

“No. But too much kissing might lead to other things and I don’t want to hurt the baby.”

“So we can’t have sex?” Harry pouted.

“No. Doctor said to do nothing too strenuous. That includes sex.”

Harry grumbled to himself. “But… I’ve wanted you for so long. We should have the ‘hey we realised we’ve been in love with each other for years’ sex. It’s only fair.” When Louis shook his head, Harry grumbled some more. “But I’m so horny, Lou. It’s worse than ever.”

“Even worse than when you were a teenager?”

Harry whined into his hand. Louis laughed at him.

“Can you just blow me or something? Take the edge off?” Harry asked, pulling out the doe eyes Louis never could resist.

“If you promise not to move and let me do all the work.”

“Sure.” Harry batted his eyes and settled himself on the sofa. He spread his legs and crossed his arms behind his head. “You can go.”

Louis smiled fondly at him and then took off his pants.

=

Harry’s belly laugh was interrupted by his wince. His hands flew to his chest and his face contorted into a painful grimace.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked in alarm, as Harry made himself more comfortable on the sofa.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. It’s just… My chest hurt.”

“Why’s that? Is the baby-“

“Baby is fine. The thing is that…” Harry’s cheeks blushed a lovely rosy colour, making him look even lovelier in the soft summer light. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“No, Haz. Whatever it is, you can tell me. If it’s hurting you, I want you to tell me.”

Harry grimaced again and patted his belly. “It’s… I’m lactating.”

“You what?” Louis’ eyes swopped down on Harry’s chest.

“Well, I can’t breast feed like… yeah. Like, the baby won’t get enough milk from me, but I’m still producing some of it and if it doesn’t get out, then there’s this pressure in my chest. It’s really uncomfortable.”

“What do you do then? Squeeze it out?”

Harry giggled and winced again. “I’m not a cow. I just have to massage around my nipples for a bit.”

“Oh. Okay? Um… Do you need help?” Louis asked, glancing from Harry’s face to his chest. Almost, like he was anticipating for milk stains to appear on his thin T-shirt.

“What? Louis- what?” Harry’s baffled expression told Louis that he might’ve put his foot in his mouth. He did want to help Harry, but this might’ve been too weird.

“Well, I… I don’t know... I’m just trying to be helpful.”

Harry chuckled. “Um… I think I can do it myself.” He said and stood up, Louis helping reaching out a hand for Harry to hold onto. He was getting so big and it made Louis giddy to see his clumsiness more amplified. He loved Harry’s quirks. He loved to tease him.

Harry hurried to the bathroom, as much as he could with a large belly, and left Louis on his own.

“Do you need like, handkerchiefs or towels?” Louis yelled to the bathroom.

“It’s fine. Got everything I need.” Harry’s muffled voice carried back.

Harry got back after a while, the tips of his hair slightly wet and the edge of his t-shirt damp.

“All better?”

Harry smiled, stretching his limbs as he sat down next to Louis. “So good.”

Louis’ gaze went back to his chest. He wondered… if they were dating, if it was Louis’ baby indeed, would Harry let him help with some of the uncomfortable parts? Louis wouldn’t mind massaging Harry’s chest or give him foot rubs. Help him out.

He also wondered if Harry would make it sexy too? Kissing Louis quickly as he pressed his fingers into his flesh. Daring him to lick the bit of milk that would leak from him.

He glanced up at Harry who had a smirk on his face but said nothing. Harry fixed his shirt and went to watch the new Ant-Man movie. Louis cleared his throat and set to watch the movie too.

“What are you thinking about, Lou?” Harry said, his voice low and teasing. Louis glanced over, biting his lip.

“Nothing.”

“Hmmm.” Harry mumbled to himself and sat up straighter. He took off his shirt and leaned back down, sighing to himself. Louis didn’t say anything, but looked over covertly at his naked chest. It took Titan’s strength not to mount him right then and there – his skin was glistening and soft, waiting to be kissed and touched.

But he couldn’t. _Think of the baby, Louis_.

Harry started to touch and scratch itches on his sternum, caressing gently over his chest and nipples. Louis grew impatient.

“If you want to play with my nipples, just ask, Louis.” Harry said, moving his hand away and angling his upper body towards Louis.

Louis turned toward him and his eyes fell on his puffy nipples and slightly swollen muscles around the areolas. He wondered if Harry was lactating again.

“You’re a menace, Harold.” Louis whispered and moved toward him. He palmed Harry’s cheek with one hand and used the other to explore every glorious inch of his skin. Harry grinned into their kiss and pushed Louis closer. He distracted Harry with open-mouthed kisses and played with his nipples. Harry moaned into his mouth and pulled him back so Louis laid half on Harry’s upper body and other half was hanging over the edge of the sofa.

His precarious positon didn’t deter him from his task, though. He kept on touching Harry’s chest and kissing him. His other hand moved into Harry’s hair and he pulled slightly on it and it made Harry pliant underneath him.

Harry moved back to catch his breath and Louis moved to kiss his neck and down his collarbones to his chest. Harry was taking deep breaths and encouraging Louis with his own touches on his back and arse. When Louis got to Harry’s nipples he looked up.

“If I sucked your nipples, would you leak?” he asked, his voice a bit hoarse from the kissing. Harry blinked at him, but shrugged.

“I’ll try.” Louis said in challenge and Harry’s eyes went wide before Louis attached his mouth to his right nipple. Harry sighed in relief and his body went lax. Louis could play with his body the way he wanted and Harry let him. He exchange guttural moans and shallow whines as Louis moved from his right nipple to his left and occasionally touch his dick and balls to keep him on the edge.

Skin on Harry’s chest was slightly red from Louis’ stubble and puffed from how thorough he was with his teasing and sucking. When he licked his right nipple one last time, he tasted something milky and fluid. He paused and looked up at Harry.

Harry inhaled through his nose and stiffened. He came in his pants a moment later and Louis took that as a sign to finish himself off too. He moved away from Harry to look at his dazed eyes and perspiration that gathered on his forehead and his bruised chest. Louis moved his hand in his trousers several times and he was coming with a choked moan.

He carefully maneuvered both of them to settle on the sofa more comfortably and Harry took the opportunity to kiss him one last time before he dozed off. Louis hummed and put an arm over Harry’s body.

“We can do that all the time, Lou.” Harry said, his voice breezy and cheerful. “If it gets you that hot to play with my nipples, we can do whatever you want.”

=

“I know we agreed I’ll come, but that was before Harry got ill.” Louis said sternly into his phone, one arm crossed on his chest. His mum was being stubborn again. “Yeah.” He said after a pause to let his mother explain something. “I know how much this means to the girls, but Harry… he needs me here. I have to look after him. What if something happens to the baby?” He paused again. Then he began pacing around the apartment.

“Lou?” Harry’s sleepy voice called from the bedroom and his feet led him there.

“You’re a midwife, mum. You should know better than anyone how serious his condition is.”

“I know, Louis. That’s what I’m telling you that coming here for the weekend won’t cause any trouble for Harry. He’s close to his due date, but he’s got your number and the doctors on speed dial and Niall or Liam can come see him if he needs anything. Don’t baby him, Lou.” Her tinny voice was stubborn but motherly concerned.

Louis looked at Harry’s glazed green eyes fighting sleep and pulling down the blanket from his overheated body. He was naked under the covers and his belly was pretty impressive by now. It caught his breath away how much he loved him.

It was not his decision to make.

“I’ll talk to Harry and let you know.” He said and then exchanged goodbyes and I-love-yous quickly before hanging up.

“Who was that?” Harry asked, his voice gravelly. Louis sat down next to him and played with his mussed up hair, straightening out the curls.

“My mum. She wants me to come to Donny for the twin’s ballet play and spend the weekend with the family.”

“When was the last time you were with your family?”

“At Christmas.”

Harry’s eyes went wide. “That’s more than seven months ago.”

“We talk every day.” Louis countered with a smile. “It’s not like I’ve gone off the grid since I moved to London. My job’s been hectic lately, that’s all.” It sounded simple from his mouth, like he didn’t really care. But he did.

He missed his family and he wanted to see them, talk to them in person, not some pixelated version of them on his phone or laptop.

But Harry needed him more than they did. The punch was even more pronounced since they were newly dating and Harry was due any week now once the doctor gave the go ahead.

“But you miss them.” Harry said, his eyes closing briefly when Louis scratched his head gently. “You have to go see them.”

“I want to be here with you. With the baby until it’s born. You need me.”

“We’ll be fine for a weekend.” Harry shook his head at Louis’ excuses. “And I might bother Niall instead of you, so you get a break.”

“I love when you bother me.” Louis said, his voice going soft. He palmed Harry’s cheek and kissed him. “Because I love you.”

Harry’s smile widened. “But you also love your family.”

“I do.” Louis agreed with another brief kiss.

“Then go see them.” Harry playfully pushed him. “I’ll call if I need you.”

“Then I expect my phone blowing up every five minutes.”

“Heey.” Harry protested with a silly grin.

Louis exhaled loudly and took Harry’s hand in his. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” Harry nodded to emphasize his point and patted his big belly. “And the baby is sure as well.”

=

Louis came to his mother’s house in a flurry on Friday evening. He was smothered by his sisters who were waiting patiently for his arrival, except Lottie who spent half a day glued to her phone and talking to her boyfriend from Barcelona.

His mother hugged him tightly and resumed making dinner for the entire family. Louis spent the remaining time before dinner catching up with his sisters and playing with the youngest twins.

The sounds and the smells were so familiar, and even though he was a grown man of thirty he reverted mentally to age fifteen – being babied and taken care of by his mother and playing with his sisters and brother. Being back home released the stress of adulthood that plagued him living on his own in London.

It was nice to go on a mental vacation once in a while, revert back to careless days in his childhood home.

Phoebe and Daisy’s ballet recital in their ballet school went amazingly, and the girls looked lovely in their purple and green dresses and sparkling tiaras. They showed off everything they learned that year and were able to put on a wonderful little story about _Sleeping Beauty_.

Louis took the family for celebration to _Nando’s_. Nothing says ‘I’m proud of you’ like some chicken and questionable condiments. They were just served their meals when Louis’ mother raised an eyebrow and looked at him meaningfully.

“So, how’s Harry doing?” she asked, keeping her voice neutral. Louis groaned inwardly.

“He’s fine.”

“So no emergencies since the last time you spoke? No accidental fires, premature labour or anything?” she had a satisfied smile on her face as she prodded her chicken with a fork.

“No, mum. Niall went over an hour ago and complained how Harry was moping about his back pains and that Niall couldn’t position his pillows and fan correctly.”

“And you were worried for nothing.” Was her conclusion. The other girls around him got quiet.

“When is Harry going to have a baby?” Phoebe asked.

“Can we go see him when he does?” Daisy quickly added.

“Soon, girls. He just has to rest.” Louis answered and stuffed his mouth quickly to avoid more questions.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Felicity asked, glancing at her phone from time to time.

“We don’t know. Harry said he wanted to be surprised.”

“When are _you_ going to have a baby, Lou?” Phoebe asked and Louis almost choked on his half-masticated chicken.

“Phoebs.” He mumbled and his mum gently patted him on the back to swallow the chicken down the right pipe.

“First you have to date someone to have babies.” Felicity winked at her sister. “And Louis hasn’t been on a date in years.”

“I _am_ dating.” Louis said, clearing his voice. Six pairs of eyes were glued to him after that involuntary admission. “I mean…”

“You have a boyfriend?” Felicity was curious while his mother looked slightly offended.

“And how long have you been together?” she asked, her voice slightly passive-aggressive.

“It’s a recent thing… I mean…” Louis sighed. Too many curious faces tore down all of his walls. “It’s Harry. I’m dating Harry.”

There were cries of excitement and surprise at their table, so loud some of the patrons at other tables looked at them. The family quickly settled down but then Louis was attacked with another round of questions.

He stood his guard and gushed about Harry only minimally (or a lot) and before he knew it they were already on their way home.

“I’m very happy for you, Louis.” His mother said to him when they took off their jackets and the rest of the family scattered around the house. “I’m sure everything will be alright.”

“You know I’ve had feelings for Harry for years, mum.” Louis said, biting his fingernails. “But now there’s the baby to consider and…”

“You’re old enough to know you’ve made a right decision. You’ve been wanting a family for a long time too, Boo.”

“I think I’m old enough for you to stop calling me Boo, mum.”

His mum rolled her eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m scared we rushed into this. What if we fall out of love once the baby comes? When things get difficult?”

“Then you’ll deal with it once you get to that bridge. Louis,” she looked him in the eyes and palmed his face, “in this moment, are you happy? Do you love Harry and the baby?”

“Yes.”

His mother smiled. “That’s the most important thing then. If anything changes, you’ll face it. I know you, Louis.”

“Mum.” Louis blushed and moved her hands off his face. “You’re getting soft in your age.” He hugged her.

“Yeah, yeah. Go to your sisters, we’ll have a family movie night.” she said, sorting out the shoes thrown haphazardly in the front room while Louis went in search of his sisters.

Their perfect day together ended in a perfect evening – each family member slowly yawning and excusing themselves to bed until only Louis and Lottie were left.

Lottie stayed for another _House_ _M.D._ episode she claimed she hadn’t seen and Louis decided it was too late for him to stay up any longer. He had to get on the road early to get back to London.

He moved half-asleep towards the stairs in the front room when he kicked a small table full of flyers and unopened mail. Louis groaned to himself and picked up the runaway paper.

“Oh, and there’s some mail here for you.” Lottie said, only glancing at him from her spot on the couch.

“What mail?” Louis turned to the small table with a bowl for keys and flyers thrown on the top along with several white envelopes as he collected the rest. “I don’t get my mail here anymore.”

“Mum asked me to remind you to get that when you come home again. I forgot.” She shrugged and Louis mumbled to himself, turning over some of the unopened envelopes.

There were several of them addressed to him. He squinted at the printed letters in the dim light of the TV which was the only thing lighting the spacious living room.

“I’ll take these to my room.” He said and Lottie grunted in reply. Louis took two stairs at once to get to his room faster. He put the envelopes on his bedside table and set to get ready for bed.

He checked his phone for any new messages from Harry but there were only few pics of a lonely pigeon on his window Harry sent him from that morning.

 _This is how I feel when you’re gone_ is what Harry attached to the photo.

Louis sent him a crying emoji and _I’ll be home soon_. He set his phone on the bedside table and remembered the envelopes again. He decided to take a look at them and if there wasn’t anything important he could just toss them in the morning before he went.

The first two were some spam subscription and lottery letters. Louis tossed them to the side as soon as he opened them. People _still_ sent those through mail? Waste of trees.

The next one had a blue seal over the stamp, an actual stamp not some printed version that’s just for decoration as some spammers used. The letters on the seal were smudged and he couldn’t quite read what they said. It was pretty thin envelope, unlike the other two so it must have been something more important.

It was one paged letter with a logo and a company name on top, with two short paragraphs written before a swirly and elaborate signature at the bottom. The company was Harley Fertility Center.

Louis eyes skimmed the first two lines after _Dear Louis_. _We’re pleased to inform you your donation has been processed and taken into consideration by one of our clients_ … Louis sat up and read the letter carefully once again. It was a mistake. It must be. Liam said they destroyed all of the samples once they closed their clinics and… Harley Sperm Bank was closed for over ten years. There was no way they could’ve used Louis’ donation.

Louis checked the time on his phone. It was too late to call Liam and ask him to do his research once again about the Harley Sperm Bank because Louis didn’t know where to start. Last time he searched for it online, all it led to was a closed website and some past articles about the shortage of British donations to sperm banks.

Even if they didn’t make a mistake (Louis is pretty sure he only put down his mother’s address because he was moving dorms and the clinic needed a permanent address to get a hold of their donators if their clients wish to meet them in the future), the timing was slightly odd. Why now? And who was it?

Louis was sure the clinic couldn’t give him those details, but… it was his donation and they could be more flexible?

He had to go back to London as soon as possible.

=

Louis closed the door of his apartment carefully, as not to wake Harry. His keys jingled when he put them on the table in the foyer. The kitchen was clean save a mug with a brown rim around the top and a ceramic bowl with two floating blueberries in it. He was glad that Harry still managed to eat his meals and not throw up like at the beginning of his pregnancy.

He put his bag on the sofa in the living room and went to the bedroom. It was still fairly early and he wanted Harry to sleep as much as he could. The baby was keeping him up all the time now, getting restless and impatient to meet them.

Just as he predicted - Harry was lying on the bed facing the door, his hated sleeping pillow under his belly as he slept on his side. His hair was mussed and greasy, probably didn’t wash it since Louis left. His face was peaceful and his lips slightly parted. They were plump and looked so soft Louis wanted to kiss him, sleep be damned.

Instead, he took off his clothes and put on something more comfortable. He wanted to pamper his boy today, let all the worries go away.

He hurried back to the kitchen and set to make breakfast. Harry couldn’t eat eggs but he devoured bacon and mushrooms. Louis kept extra packages of bacon and sausages in his freezer and set to make a hot and deep-fried breakfast.

When he was done with the fry-up, and put a kettle on, he heard a muffled voice calling him.

“Louis?”

He left two plates on the counter and the tea to boil, and jogged down the hall to the bedroom.

Harry blinked at him with sleepy eyes, pulling down the duvet and moving the pregnancy pillow away from him. “You’re home.”

Louis hummed. “I couldn’t wait to come back.”

“Won’t your family miss you?”

“They had me for thirty years. I think they can handle not seeing me for next few weeks until the baby comes.” Louis said with a small smile, sliding into bed next to Harry. “I missed you. I want to be here.”

“The baby was fine. He didn’t wriggle so much. I think he loves your voice.”

Louis felt his face split in two. “Really?” He reached out to caress the bump. To know the baby had any response to his presence was amazing, but this… He felt elated.

“I love you, so much.” He whispered and leaned to kiss Harry.

Harry leaned back and sniffed. “Did you make breakfast?”

Louis nodded. Harry sighed in relief. “I’m starving.”

“Then let’s go. I made a whole spread.” He helped Harry get up and held his hand all the way to the kitchen.

Harry chomped down everything that was on his plate and sneaked bites off Louis’ plate when he was done, which Louis was happy to give him. They ate in silence and when Louis sipped his lukewarm tea just as he liked it, Harry looked at him with worry in his eyes.

“What, Haz?”

Harry sighed and pushed his fork around his polished plate. “You were right.”

“Right about what?” he put his tea down, the anxious face Harry was sporting told him he had to have his full attention.

“I should’ve waited to have the baby.” Harry mumbled to himself, eyes still not looking at Louis. Louis reached out for his hand, and Harry shakily dropped the fork. The clink echoed in the silence.

“Haz…”

“If I waited just for a bit, maybe… Maybe we could’ve got our shit together and realised we love each other and… the baby would be yours too.” He said and his bottom lip wobbled.

Louis gently squeezed his hand. “Haz, it _is_ my baby. It’s us, together. I want to raise it together with you.”

“I know, but… I just wish we got it the right way. Like, fall in love first, get married and then have it. I- I was just too impatient.”

Louis stood up and walked to the other side of the table, hugging Harry from behind. The chair was digging into his lower abdomen but he didn’t care.

“We did everything the way we had to. Would you realise you love me if it weren’t for the baby?” Harry hesitated and Louis chuckled. “Exactly. It might’ve taken us years before we admitted to each other we’re in love. If anything I’m glad the baby got us together. It’s _our_ baby.”

Harry wiped his eyes and kissed Louis’ arm that was wrapped around his shoulders. “I know, I know.” He mumbled. “The closer I am to the due date, I just get more nervous.”

“And you get all these weird ideas in your head.” Louis said, sitting down next to Harry and kissing his cheek. “Everything is just the way it’s supposed to be, love. Come on, kiss me, it’ll make you feel better.”

Harry smiled widely with teary eyes and planted a big kiss on Louis.

=

While Harry was at the apartment, waiting for the baby to tell him when they were ready to come out, Louis still had to go to work. He didn’t have the privilege of taking early paternity leave and there were dozens of impatient couples and singles who wanted to buy a home of their own and be as happy as he was.

While he was finishing his work obligations on Monday, he was still thinking about the letter from the fertility clinic. He hadn’t told Harry about it, no use adding new things on his plate. Harry would probably blow it out of proportion and cause more stress for himself and the baby.

No, Louis had to deal with this on his own.

He still loved the idea that he provided a family for someone, a couple or even a single person who wanted to do it on their own. At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for someone else generously donating, Harry and he wouldn’t be having a baby right now. Little earlier than Louis expected but he didn’t care.

It didn’t matter who got his donation, but there were some questions he’d like to have answered. 

So, after work he found the address of the fertility clinic and drove there.

At first glance, there was something familiar about the neighbourhood. There was a park where he found Harry after he received the bad news. When he saw the building of the fertility center, he remembered coming here with Harry for his check-ups. At least the last few. A _déjà vu_ -like sense pinched at his memory, but he forgot all about it trying to find a parking spot.

He locked his car and walked briskly towards the entrance which slid open when he was just a few feet from it, making him feel extra important. He was welcomed by the sight of clean lobby with muted pastel colours decorating the walls and the plump furniture. Walls were additionally covered with inspirational posters and ads.

Behind the wooden desk was a short brunette with bright pink lipstick, her green dress almost blending with the pastel surrounding her. Louis approached her with a smile.

“Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?” the woman greeted, standing up and setting a professional smile.

“Well…” Louis paused for the effect and scratched his stubble. “I’ve donated to this clinic a while back…Actually not this clinic, but a branch office.” The woman nodded in understanding, her smile slightly dropping. “It was called Harley Sperm Bank, I believe?”

“I wouldn’t know, sir. I’ve only worked here for a year.” She said, her eyes apologetic.

“That’s alright.” Louis assured her, leaning a bit against the desk. “They closed about ten years ago and I was wondering if the clinic – _your clinic_ – got some of the donations from them?”

“As I said, sir. I wouldn’t know.” She shook her head in emphasis.

“Maybe you can check? Type some numbers and see? Or ask a manager?”

The woman crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “Even if I were able to get that kind of information, I can’t just give them to anyone who walks in.”

“But I was a donor.” Louis insisted, pulling out the envelope he got few days prior. “Here, look at it yourself. It has your logo on it.”

Woman took the paper and glanced over it briefly. “Well, alright. But why is that important?”

“I want to know who got my donation and-“

“Sir, you signed a contract when you donated.” She interrupted him. Her voice was firm but she looked slightly annoyed under the professional façade. “We can’t disclose to our clients who our donators are, only to the children they might get if they want to contact you, and the same applies vice versa. We can’t give you information on who got your donation. It’s the law.”

“Yes. I understand.” Louis gritted his teeth. “I’m not asking you to give me the name and the address, I just want you to confirm that my donation was transported here and that I might father a child.”

“If you’ve received that letter then all your questions are answered.” She replied simply, and Louis’s pulse quickened.

He took a deep breath. “Can you at least tell me when you sent this letter? I got it few days ago.”

“We send them a month after a successful conception.”

“And that was- ?”

The woman sighed. “That’s confidential.” Louis’ shoulders slumped and he bit his lip. She looked at him with pity and he hated it. At least he could tell Liam that their donations were moved not destroyed.

He was about to leave when the woman sighed again and sat behind the computer. “I can at least tell you when we sent the letters to the Post. That’s not too revealing?”

Louis could kiss her. “Yes. Thank you. Thank you, so much.”

She typed something on the computer and pulled up a spreadsheet of some sort. She looked over it and then smiled to herself.

“I think yours was sent in February, sir. If that helps you in any way.”

“Thank you.” Louis mumbled again and turned to the exit. Before he walked out the door, a poster caught his eyes. It was picture of a heterosexual couple with an annoying font in the middle.

He glanced at it and saw the familiar inspirational quote: _Your family can start here!_

Then it actually hit him. If he got his letter a month after someone’s conception, then it must be around the same time Harry got pregnant. He checked once again the logo on the letter and compared to the one on the poster.

They were identical.

Louis rushed to his car and his hands only shook a bit as he started the ignition.

=

Louis’ hands slightly shook as he read the letter again. He swallowed a lump that lodged itself in his throat and set the paper on the bedside table, but missed and it fell on the floor.

Louis was in sort of numb state as he realised what happened – or the possibility of what could’ve happened. He walked to Harry, who was lounging in the living room completely unaware of life-altering realisation Louis had come to, and sat next to him. He stared unseeing at _Loose Women_ rerun Harry was engrossed in, and took deep breaths to remove the lump in his throat once again.

He felt a hand enveloping his on his thigh and squeezing. He looked up to see a small frown on Harry’s face.

“Everything okay, Lou?” he asked gently, afraid to spook Louis with loud noises.

Louis nodded but kept blinking at Harry who squeezed his hand encouragingly.

“No. I’m… I found something out.”

“What?”

“I-“ Louis licked his lips and pulled his hand away from Harry’s. Harry’s eyes widened and he pushed himself to sit more upright and face Louis. “You remember I told you about going to the sperm bank with Liam years ago?”

Harry’s forehead was deeply wrinkled, his eyes confused. “Yeah, you mentioned. What happened? Is it Liam?”

Louis shook his head. “Liam is fine. It’s me.”

“What about you?”

“I got a letter that said they used my sample for someone.”

Harry’s eyes widened again, this time in surprised happiness. “That’s great! You gave someone a family, Lou.” When he saw Louis’ pale face he quickly sobered up. “What?”

“Yeah, but… I think… The timing is a bit off. I got the letter few days ago, but they sent it in _February_.” Louis emphasised the last word but Harry’s face was blank. He didn’t understand the implication.

“Okay.” Harry mumbled. “I still don’t understand. Are you scared? Or worried? Do you think it’ll affect us? Because it shouldn’t. We have our family and nobody will interfere with that. Not some kid that might come years from now. If they come.” Harry took a shallow breath. “Lou?”

“I didn’t tell you everything. The sperm bank I went to- it’s a branch office to your fertility clinic. They gave the samples to Harley Fertility Center.”

“Okaay.” Harry said, completely clueless still. Louis was slowly growing frustrated. He didn’t want to spell it out for him.

“My sample was given to someone around the time you got pregnant, Harry.”

The mix of emotions that crossed Harry’s face would be amusing if Louis wasn’t so nervous and choked up. Harry’s forehead furrowed then his jaw dropped and then his eyes widened to the size of saucers. He took Louis’ hand and squeezed painfully.

“Haz?”

Harry looked at him, unseeing. “The baby might be yours.” He whispered to himself.

“Yeah. I- does that change anything? We can get a paternity test to be sure but…”

Harry shook his head. “No, no.” He squeezed Louis’ hand again. “That’s actually good… the baby might actually be yours.” Then he looked over at his shelves and burst into tears. Louis quickly moved closer to him and embraced him.

“Harry, it’s going to be okay. I love you and the baby. It doesn’t change anything. It’s just a coincidence. I’m sure it is. Freaky timing.” He assured him and played with his hair. Harry sobbed even harder. Louis could only hug him and kiss his temple until he calmed down.

He pulled away from Louis and took his hands in his. “Lou. I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“I thought this will die with me, because it’s so embarrassing and I didn’t know if we’ll ever be together but… When I was picking a donor for the baby, I picked the ones who were the most similar to you. I only took those with blue eyes, and your height and hair colour. I-“ he sniffed, “I didn’t know for sure if they looked like you but I wanted my baby to be a mix of you and me. Or at least someone who resembled you.”

Louis snorted at that and Harry teared up again. “Louis, don’t. I know it’s weird and… I always fancied you, even if I wanted to deny it because we were best friends for so long. And I think you’re so beautiful and I wanted my baby to be beautiful like you.”

Louis palmed Harry’s cheek and burst into laugh. Harry chuckled with him. “You’re… you’re so weird, Harry. You just might’ve picked _me_ out of all those men.”

Harry shrugged.

Louis sighed and wiped the moisture off Harry’s cheeks. “We could’ve saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we only talked.” He looked down at Harry’s belly. “Do you want to take a paternity test? So we can be sure?”

Harry shook his head. “No. Not yet at least.” He caressed his belly and licked his lips. “We’re good like this, right? We don’t have to know.”

“Okay.” Louis agreed, but he knew that he’d die before the baby pops out and they could know for sure. He had to respect Harry’s wishes.

“I love you.” Harry mumbled, squeezing closer to Louis so he could put an arm around him.

“Love you too.”

=

Harry was slowly growing bigger the closer to his due date he got. Three weeks before he was due he was admitted to the hospital so the doctor could monitor him closely because of his condition. They didn’t want to risk anything.

Louis visited him every day and saw how excited Harry was knowing that the baby would soon be with them. He was also sluggish and slow in his movements and got tired when he walked for long so he kept to lying in bed during Louis’ visits.

Louis claimed a comfy chair next to Harry’s bed and put a large blanket on it, for times when he accidentally fell asleep when he went straight from house showing to the hospital. This was one of those times when Louis was dead on his feet, looking at Harry from his chair and fell asleep in the middle of one of Harry’s stories about some old man that sleepwalked to his room looking for his wife.

He woke up with the blanket around him and pulled to his shoulders. Harry was dozing too, his torso propped comfortably half-upright to keep the baby weight balanced. His unscented candles were lit on his nightstand and Louis smiled knowing that they weren’t allowed in the hospital but Harry secretly lit them “so it could feel like home, Lou”.

Louis sat there, looking at Harry moving a bit to get comfortable in his sleep and sighing tiredly. His gaze travelled down the duvet to the bump that hid the baby. He grew impatient every time he looked at it and wondered silently, “are you mine?”. It didn’t matter, of course it didn’t. What mattered was the love he already had for the baby and his will to take care of it for the rest of his life, like his other father was currently taking just as much care of it.

But the nagging feeling of ‘what if’ slowly sanded down his resolve to keep up with Harry’s wishes. He _needed_ to know.

He pushed the blanket off and sat next to Harry on his bed. Harry stirred slightly and blinked at Louis with a groggy smile.

“Hey, Lou.”

“Hello, love.” Louis grinned and pushed stray hairs off Harry’s cheek. Harry mumbled contently and chased after Louis’ touch. “How are you feeling?” 

“Swollen and huge.” Harry mumbled. “But happy.” He bit his lip.

“Haz, can we-“ he paused, waiting for Harry to look at him. “I know we said we’d wait but I don’t think I can. I want to know if the baby is mine.”

Harry hummed, pursing his lips. “You want a paternity test?”

Louis nodded.

Harry sighed. “Alright. But you have to talk to the doctor if it’s safe.”

Louis beamed at him, leaning down to kiss all over his face and leaving a sweet lingering one on his lips for last. “I will. I will.” Harry hummed contently and pulled his duvet up.

“Now let me sleep.”

Louis kissed him again and moved away to pick his things and go find Harry’s doctor before he left.

 

To Louis’ disappointment, the doctor didn’t allow for a prenatal paternity test because Harry’s condition was already precarious and taking amniotic fluid from his abdomen however small amount could cause trouble for the baby. He had to wait until the baby was born.

It was back to biting his nails and wondering. But instead of driving himself and Harry nuts with his restless energy, he threw himself into different baby projects. He started clearing out the spare room in his apartment for the nursery then he assembled the furniture and painted the walls. He used some cute decals of bunnies and woodland creatures to create a forest on one wall and painted everything in shades of green, grey and beige.

With the help from his mum who insisted on visiting him before the baby was born, they managed to place every toy and piece of clothing in the nursery and make the entire apartment baby-proof. His mother was particularly handy with screwdrivers and replaced all the outlets with baby-proof ones in minutes.

He sent Harry pictures at every stage of his progress and was met with hundreds of heart and smiling emojis but also a frowny Harry when he visited him because Harry wanted to be a part of it too.

“Maybe next time, love.” Louis whispered into his ear and Harry’s face lit up like Christmas tree.

“You want more babies with me?” Harry asked, slightly dazed. Louis pulled him closer into his arm (as if they weren’t already as close as they can be, cramped on Harry’s hospital bed, lying next to each other) and pecked him on the lips.

“I want everything with you. But more babies would be nice. A big family, like you always wanted.”

Harry’s eyes were brimming with happy tears but Louis kissed him again before they could spill.

=

Charlie Robin Tomlinson-Styles was born a week later at 6.1 pounds and a tuft of dark hair, screaming his head off when he was put into his father’s arms. Harry tried to soothe him with small shushs but he was a mess himself, slightly weeping and looking at his son with awe.

Louis fell in love with both of them, for the first time and all over again, watching how gently Harry held Charlie in his arms. The grey blanket Charlie was put in was so large it engulfed him completely so his tiny head was the only thing that peeked out. He calmed down the longer Harry held him and he fell silent when Louis put his hand on his head. Like he knew he was safe and surrounded by people who love him.

The nurse took Charlie away and Louis was ushered out of the surgery room, for the final preps to be done.

Louis was still thinking about the paternity test, less than before because looking into Charlie’s eyes felt almost like a confirmation. The bluest eyes he’d ever seen, so similar to his own.

Nevertheless, after a week of recuperating in the hospital, they took Charlie home and spent their days and nights looking over the small person they brought into the world. Harry got better and less weepy every time he took him in his arms. He never wanted to let him out of his sight.

“Harry, you’re spoiling him. You already carried him nine months in your belly and now you’re always carrying him around in your arms. Aren’t you tired?” Louis mockingly complained when he found them in the kitchen, Harry mumbling to himself while the radio played a new Top 40 hit.

“Never. He’s mine and I’m never letting him go.” Harry replied and continued to softly sing to their son.

Which… well.

They got the results of the paternity test two days ago.

Louis was the father.

“He’s mine too.” Louis said, moving closer and embracing Harry from the back. Charlie looked at him over Harry’s shoulder with his big blue eyes and melted Louis’ heart for the millionth time.

“Say hi to Daddy.”

 

 

=


End file.
